The legacy of Mr. Lien Shih Sheng, late pioneer writer and newspaperman, lives on

Dearest Ashley and Abby,

Remember Aunty Siaou Sze?  Mummy is so excited when I chanced upon the newspaper article this evening featuring her late Father, Mr. Lien Shih Sheng's book launch at the Peking University on 17 Sept'11. As shared with you, Aunty Siaou Sze has inspired me in so many ways.  She is a wise, kind, capable and resilient Woman of Substance, One in a Million.

The influence of her late Father on her and her siblings had positively shaped them to be who they are today. Mummy attempts to summarize some of the key teachings of Mr. Lien purely from my perspective:

• 因材施教 - Based on each child's personality, Mr. Lien would personalize his teaching approach towards each child
• 人要忠于学问,做事要对人温和和宽恕 - We must continue to learn, be kind and forgiving to others
• 父亲从小注重对孩子的启蒙, 为了把唐诗之美传达给我们,他把唐诗写在卡片上,久了多到可以串连起来 - Father placed great emphasis on childhood education. He would write numerous Chinese poems on the cards for us and over time, we could join them together
• 他喜欢为孩子讲故事 - He loved to tell stories for his children
• 父亲每天要我们写字练笔,并亲自评改,也把一些有关学习和人生的哲理名言整理成座右铭,当中有好些，我还牢记在心 - Father would instruct us to practise our writing daily and he would correct our work. He would gather some life philosophy and words of wisdom and made them our motto; I could still remember some of them till today
• 个人方面, 父亲认为，千万不可眼高手低，坐二望五，这样将会永远无法满足和快乐 - On the personal front, Father reckoned that one should not simply set high goals without putting in the right amount of effort or simply dreaming of attaining high position. One would never be satisfied and happy
• 对工作，父亲的看法是，人不必绝顶聪明，勤能补拙，只要有恒心，就能扬名立万 - On the professional front, Father reckoned that one need not be the smartest, but hardwork and determination matter more in attaining success in life
• 他求人宽，求己严，主张凡事不要在鸡蛋里挑骨头 - Set high standard for oneself but be lenient to others and do not try to find fault that was not there
• 父亲为人处处以和为贵，也往往以身作则 - Father seeked harmony constantly and walked the talk
• 在教育孩子时，连士升实行“三好”：身体好、读书好、大家相亲相爱 - In educating his children, Mr. Lien practised "3 Goodness": Good Health, Good Study and be Good to one another
• 父亲一生多病，却乐观进取，没有消沉不振 - Father suffered poor health but he was always positive and never gave up
• 每当孩子有病，带去看诊的，也是会说英语的父亲 - Whenever we were sick, Father would bring us to the Doctor and conversed in English with the Doctor

Mr. Lien's legacy lives on as his books and essays are still benefiting generations after generations of readers over 4 decades as they offer useful insights on dealing with family members, how to succeed in school, and the importance of human relations in all aspects of our lives.

Mummy and Daddy have learned so much from this article and will be studying his books together to gain more wisdom so that we could share with our loved ones.

Love,
Mum & Dad Dearest

My Mentor's wise words on life, marriage and parenting

Dearest Ashley and Abby,

Mummy is very blessed with kind and wise close friends around me, constantly inspiring and rubbing off their brilliance on me.  Uncle Don is one of them.  We had our 3rd birthday lunch yesterday.  Besides Ee Ee, Uncle Don is the only one who shares the same birth date as me. I still remember the first time we met, we chatted over two hours.  Though we are 23 years apart, we have many things in common. I'll like to share with you what I've learned from him yesterday:

On Life...."Life is what you give into it and the returns could be 10 folds."

On Life..." We can control the rivers' mouths but we cannot control people's mouth."

On Marriage...."We have our differences. But our children did not come to this world by themselves.  We brought them here.  We have the responsibility to give them a safe and happy home especially when the outside world can be harsh and unforgiving.  What chances do they have in life if they can't even come home to feel loved and cared for?"

On Marriage...."We're just like the 2 big rough rocks at the seashore, being hit by waves after waves.  Over time, the waves smoothen the surface of these 2 big rocks."

On Parenting..."When my kids were young, they were chaffeured by a driver to school. I would teach them to thank the driver when they reached home/school. Having a grateful heart is very important in children."

On Parenting..."We're the Captain of the Family Ship.  We must build a ship with strong foundation before we can steer them in the right direction."

On Success..." If we won the world but lost our family, that is not success. Bringing up good children is one of the greatest successes."

On Feeling Good..."To be able to help others, especially those who need my help, makes me feel good."

In my eyes, Uncle Don is a Successful man both on a professional and personal fronts: At 62, he is still a very successful serial entrepreneur; his two grown-up boys are experts in their own fields and very family-centric.  Don, I wish to be like you when I reach 62 years old. Look forward to our birthday celebration year after year.  Cheers!

Love,
Mummy Dearest

Ashley, it just takes few hours for you to be like your friend, but it may take your friend few years to be like you. You are Special!

Dearest Ashley,

Remember what Dad said to you yesterday in the car? Maybe because your friend has everything he wanted, be it handphone, iPad, PSP and all the electronics gadgets and toys in this world, that's why he couldn't control his anger and tried to harm himself and people around him repeatedly?

Having all the love from our loved ones and all the material things that we could wish for look may like a perfect picture.  But, think again? Why your friend is still unhappy? Why did kids only go to him to borrow his phone to play games? Why did kids refuse to catch him during playtime? Why did he cry so easily?

Think again. You do not possess any electronics gadgets but why are you liked by your classmates and friends? Why did your friend, Mark photocopy the scripts and file it nicely for you without you asking? Why did your buddy, Jun Henn, teach you how to play "Baby Baby" on piano and enjoy omelette rice together almost everyday? Why did your form Teacher choose you as his buddy? Why did your classmate only invite you, the only guy, to her baking birthday party? Why did your friends confide in you? Why did your friends want to join your team in soccer, table tennis and captains ball? Why did they come to support you in the Musical? Is it because of the things that they could get from you? 

As a matter of fact, you have nothing to give them except your genuine friendship and care. Mummy was very touched when one of your friend's Mum showed me the secret note you had written for her son. In the note, you encouraged your friend to study hard and love his mum.  That's so wonderful.  That reminds Mummy that since nursery till now, all your Teachers wrote,"Ashley is a helpful and caring boy." Mummy is so proud of you, son.

You are a very special boy with special inner qualities that as you grow older, it will have a positive snowball effect in your life. What your friends have on the outside, you can buy them. But, what you have inside, your friends cannot buy from any shop in this world.  Having said that, Mum and Dad agreed to buy you your 1st electronics gadget after SA2, no conditions to be fulfilled but conditions will come after the purchase. We know you will understand that the condiitions we set later for the iPad usage is for your own good, son.

Love You Always,
Mum & Dad

Important lessons by Stillwater the Panda from Zen shorts

Dearest Ashley and Abby,

Don't you adore Stillwater the Panda and the three stories he shared with his new friends Karl, Michael, and Addy? Here's the first story "良叔叔与月亮"....

良叔叔 is a kind man. He leads a simple life with bare necessities.  He always gives something to his guests when they visit him, including the robber who broke into his house.  He could not find anything in his house so he gave his only tattered robe to the robber.

Like his name, 善良的善, he is very kind.  He does not judge people but is sincere to everyone. He even wishes the robber could one day receives the 明月in his heart to guide him (the moon symbolizes the light in the darkness). 

Here's the second story"塞翁矢马"...

The farmer 塞翁 is very poor but hardworking.  One day, his only horse ran away.  His neighbours sympathized him and said, "What bad luck you have." He said, "Maybe." Few days later, his horse came back with two wild horses.  His neighbours said to you, "What good luck you have!" He said, "Maybe." Later, his son fell from the untamed horse and broke his leg.  Again, his neighbours said,"What bad luck you have." He said,"Maybe." Few days later, the army came to gather all the young men to fight the war but decided not to take his son as his leg was broken, his neighbours said,"What good luck you have." As usual, he said,"Maybe."

Sometimes, bad news may result in good outcome at the end and vice versa. As what Forest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get." Any experience, good or bad, is part of a learning journey for us.  We just have to embrace them.  Remember what Mum said to you yesterday in the car when you said you almost died after 2.5 hours of strenuous back flip wushu practice?  What does not kill you make you stronger.  Hey, you're stronger than the day before.  Congrats!!!

Here's the third story "老僧与小僧"...

An old monk and his young disciple met a lady in a carriage.  The lady could not get off the carriage as there was a puddle of water.  Her servant could not help her as they were carrying her belongings.  The old monk just piggy back her from the carriage to the shop. The lady was very rude towards the old monk and did not even thank him for his help.  The old monk just kept quiet and continued his journey.  His young disciple was fuming mad and after 2 hours of walking, he finally asked the old monk why didn't he feel angry about the impolite lady?  The old monk replied,"I already put her down 2 hours ago and why are you still holding on to her?"

Sometimes, we tend to hold on to negative feelings such as anger or jealousy for too long. It is better to let go such emotions so that we can move on and be happy again.

Mummy enjoys the three stories very much.  So meaningful and profound.  Like Stillwater, it is very important for us to have a clear mind so that we can see things better.  Just like the clear water in the pond, you can see the reflection of the sky clearly.  Conversely, if our mind is crowded with negative thoughts and feelings, we cannot see things clearly.  Can you still see the reflection of the clear blue sky if the water is rippled?

So good to be your Mum 'cos if not for you, I would never get to know this wonderful panda, Stillwater. Stillness inspires Peacefulness and Wisdom, creates Meaningful Life and Miracle!

Hugs,
Mummy Dearest

Bedtime stories by Abby

Dearest Abby,

Last night, Mummy read you the library book "团圆". 毛毛's Dad only comes home once a year as he has to work overseas to support his family.  He only spends 4 days in 365 days with her and her Mummy. "团圆" means reunion. 

I can see that you were touched by the story but what surprise Mummy was your innocent question, "Why her Mummy married a man who only come home once a year?"

Mummy tried to explain to you that some families need their Dad or Mum to work overseas to feed the family.  We're very blessed that we see our family every day. We should cherish one another. Like you and Kor Kor, when you care for each other and love each other, every day is a happy day in our family. When you and Kor Kor argue, even though you are physically together, it is not "团圆" as your hearts are not binded together like 毛毛 and her Dad.

You also shared with Mummy that you placed 2 good pets and one bad pet in one cubicle so that the good pets can teach the bad pet well.  That's very kind of you to allow the good pets to have good influence on the bad pet.

The last story you shared with Mummy was your observation of one of your friends who behaved like a girl.  He cried easily when he lost the chop stick game to you and being teased by a naughty student.  Mummy was very touched when you shared with me that you taught him how to win you in chop stick.  You also stand up against the naughty student. Last night, you allowed Kor Kor to sleep on your bed while you slept on the mattress.  That's so gracious and kind. Thank you for being such a thoughtful daughter, my dearest darling.

Love,
Mummy Dearest

The Best Birthday Gifts I've received

Dearest Ashley and Abby,

Ashley, thank you for making a lovely paper tulip for me on my birthday. Am surprised you figured out yourself as Mummy only taught you simple origami folds like penguin and basketball hoop.  I love it!

Abby, thank you for drawing a beautiful birthday card with thoughtful words, "Thanks Mum for cooking lovely food for us" for me on my birthday. I'm motivated to be the Best Weekend Chef!

Thank you for playing the Birthday songs for me. Thank you for the Wei Wei Kang Kang Musical DVD. You guys were great performers. Best of all, thank you for being obedient, honest and compassionate children. Mummy is truly very proud of both of you. Thank you for making my 39th birthday a special day in my life.

Today marks a new beginning in my life. With your love and patience, I've come to realise the tone of my voice and the look in my eyes, will make or break you.

Last week, I chanced upon Bollywood Veggies's Ms. Ivy-Singh-Lim's interview with FM 93.8's A slice of Life. I was totally blown away by her. The 2 most important lessons I learned from her: 1) Tell our children that they are special and they have the gift to help the less fortunate and 2)Teach them to grow a plant, be close to nature, create things and love people and animals.

I've made a resolution that I will be more patient with you, not judge and nag at you. I'll raise my awareness to check my emotions instead of showing my negative emotions to you.  Mummy also needs to learn to express my feelings in words not act out my frustrations.

Oh ya, not having a domestic helper for nearly 10 months after being served by them for 10 years helped Mummy reached my realisation.  Never know cleaning the house, wishing the dishes and doing the laundry could enlighten me so much.  Now I truly comprehend the saying, "Things happened for a reason". Hehehe...

Hugs,
Mummy Dearest

Letter to the Best Daughter in the World Wide World

Dearest Abby,

With your permission, Mummy is posting this letter on my blog...

On my birthday, I've written a poem specially for you, my sweetest Princess.  I hope you like it.

Thank you for being an obedient, thoughtful, kind, gentle, talented, brave and jovial daughter.  Your gentleness and kindness have rubbed off everyone around you.  I love you from head to toe, from your heart to your hair, my Angel.

Bouncy Bunny. Pure White Dove. Determined Giraffe

Like A Bouncy Bunny,
You bounce happily with your family and friends,
Singing merry tunes as you dance and swirl in the garden.

Like A Pure White Dove,
Your heart is pure and kind,
Spreading goodness around you,
and drawing rainbows in the sky.

Like A Determined Giraffe,
You stretch your tongue to lick the brightest star in the night,
When you see a shooting star,
You wish to hitch a ride from the zooming star,
to visit your friend, Luna,
so that she will not be lonely anymore.

Love,
Mummy Dearest

Letter to the Best Son in the World Wide World on my Birthday

Dearest Ashley,

With your permission, Mummy is posting this letter on my blog...

Today marks the day I was born 39 years ago. On this special day, I wish to express my appreciation to you, my beloved Prince.

I've created a poem especially for you on my birthday. I hope you like it.

You're my No. 1 Idol - Intelligent. Kind, Helpful, Fearless, Focused, Funny and Talented.

I love you with all my heart, my Precious Warrior.


Fearless Horse. Joyful Monkey. Talented Humming Bird

Like A Fearless Horse,
You gallop swiftly like the wind,
Braving through steep mountains and deep valleys,
You lead your family and companions to a safe haven.

Like A Joyful Monkey,
Your contagious laughter brings joy to everyone,
Your presence uplifts the good spirit in all of us,
You are You, and we simply love who you are.

Like A Talented Humming Bird,
Your Beautiful voice rings in our ears and strikes a cord in our hearts,
Even a casual flap of your wings or an accidental release of gas,
is still music to our ears.

Love,
Mummy Dearest

A special Teachers' Day gift

Dearest Ashley and Abby,

Mummy didn't expect my one and only banana cake is so well received by both of you. You requested Mum to bake banana cakes to present to your Teachers tomorrow. Mum was energized by you kids even after a day's hard work. Abby even helped me in the kitchen till she dozed off. She even suggested we decorate the cakes. What a brilliant idea!

Enjoy your Teachers' day celebration tomorrow! Oh, I hope your Teachers and your classmates like Mum's banana cake. Hehehe....

Love,
Mummy Dearest