For things to change, I must change first

Dearest Ashley,

I could see how much you love Thursday morning as you were singing the devotion songs in the car and talking about Mr. Peck this morning. You even shared with me how he teased you yesterday about the colour of the school logo on your uniform in a light-hearted manner. He joked about the size of the brains and his signature cheeky powers in class. With him in the class, there is always laughter and energy!Few weeks ago, he even asked you why your behaviour changed for the better in P4. Not forgeting he came to support you on your 1st night of your Musical performance.

The bond between you and Mr. Peck is apparently very strong. You enjoy his company even though at times he teased you. Mummy has a lot to learn from Mr. Peck on effective communication with you.

As you are our first child, Mum and Dad are still figuring out how best to communicate with a new teenager at home. Frankly, we don't know, especially Mummy. Mummy grew up in a all-girls family and the only man at home, your Yeye, was hardly home as he worked hard everyday to bring home the bacon. Thus, I have no idea how a teenage boy think or behave. The closest man I know in my life is your Daddy but when I first knew him, he was already 25 years old, no longer a teenager. Despite the many Parenting books I read, I still feel inadequate as a Mother. Truthfully, Mummy also struggles at times how to create a win-win situation for us.

You are growing and changing each day. You are no longer the little boy who depends on me for everything. You are now capable of many things that even Mummy can't do - playing the piano, performing in a musical, singing and dancing and making yourself known to the Disney crew, Compere, leading Devotion in school, Class Monitor (Mummy was never a Class Monitor) and the list goes on.

You are making your own decisions and learning new things and experiences everyday. Some experiences lifted your spirit up; some experiences made you cry; sometimes you are very sure of yourself; sometimes you are lost; sometimes you love Mummy; sometimes you cannot stand Mummy...

Last night, Daddy made me realised how much you went through as a Class Monitor. Daddy made me realised I've not empathized with you as you are going through the growing pains. I've been sending out messages to you that results are more important than effort. Mummy sincerely apologised to you if I've given you so much pressure that you sometimes lied to me so that you made me proud. As we shared with you last night, Mum and Dad are proud of you when you put in the effort. There is no need to make up story for your parents. We are here for you, listen to you, pleasant or unpleasant experiences you have. Be true to yourself and be true to your parents, teachers and friends.

Thanks to your Dad for putting up a hard and clear mirror in front of me. Mummy realised that we can improve our communication. Mummy may not be as humourous as Mr. Peck but I'll work on it. Remember what you learned from Teacher Celine? For things to change, I must change first. Mummy will make that change and we'll see how things progress ok?

Love you always,
Mum & Dad