Dearest Ashley,
We had a heated argument few mornings ago when you demanded a handphone to key in your homework and the list of things to bring to school. You even accused your Mother of not giving you anything. I wanted to share this news article I read yesterday.
The headline says, "She had 200 pairs of shoes, 80 bags. Woman convicted of forging S$1M worth of cheques, defence says she has compulsive-impulse disorder."
Extract from the news article:
Chiam's mitigation plea also told of her desire to elevate her social status among her peers, by buying branded goods, some of which she kept or gave away to friends and colleagues.
"Without my branded goods, I am nothing," she said in her plea.
Material things do not define who you are. Your values and the way you treat others and how you carry yourself define who you are. Do you think if you carry a handphone or Gameboy, you will make your friends like you more? Do you really need a handphone now? Do you think it is right to cheat to get what you want?
Mum and Dad had our 1st handphone when we were started working. We were in our mid 20s when we owned our 1st handphone. Time changed and technology has advanced so much that handphone is so common nowadays. Even Primary school kids have handphones.
Can you live without a handphone for now? Do you know the cost of owing a handphone? A handphone set costs about $400. The monthly subscription fee is $40/mth. Your monthly pocket money and school bus add up to $100/mth. Not to mention your monthly favourite treats at Pizza Hut, Bakerzin, Cafe cartel, Mac, Swensens etc which add up to about $200/mth. Also, your singing, swimming and wushu class add up to about $300/mth. If you add everything up, your monthly expense is $600/mth. Is this alot of money?
Money does not grow on trees. If we are not frugal, money will run out very soon. Still remember the story of how Aunty Pat's mum brought up 9 children by selling noodles? It is not how much you earned but how much you saved that makes the difference.
Having said that, we always obliged to your request to buy story books, nice food, nice shirts and Justin Bieber CD, etc and the pricey piano of course.
If you look harder at your Mum and Dad, we live a simple life with simple needs. We will save money so that we could all go for a nice holiday in Dec which costs a bomb. Remember we stayed in the 5-star DisneyLand hotel instead of some cheap hotels? Each night is S$350. Remember the Waterfall hotel we stayed in Shengzhen? So unique and comfy right? Each night is over S$200. Think? Where does the money come from? From our saving. We save everyday for our 5-star holidays. Do we feel we less happy? No. Conversely, we feel very contented and happy. We have everything we need.
I urge you please ask yourself one question before you want to buy anything: Do I really need it?
Love you forever,
Mum & Dad
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
For things to change, I must change first
Dearest Ashley,
I could see how much you love Thursday morning as you were singing the devotion songs in the car and talking about Mr. Peck this morning. You even shared with me how he teased you yesterday about the colour of the school logo on your uniform in a light-hearted manner. He joked about the size of the brains and his signature cheeky powers in class. With him in the class, there is always laughter and energy!Few weeks ago, he even asked you why your behaviour changed for the better in P4. Not forgeting he came to support you on your 1st night of your Musical performance.
The bond between you and Mr. Peck is apparently very strong. You enjoy his company even though at times he teased you. Mummy has a lot to learn from Mr. Peck on effective communication with you.
As you are our first child, Mum and Dad are still figuring out how best to communicate with a new teenager at home. Frankly, we don't know, especially Mummy. Mummy grew up in a all-girls family and the only man at home, your Yeye, was hardly home as he worked hard everyday to bring home the bacon. Thus, I have no idea how a teenage boy think or behave. The closest man I know in my life is your Daddy but when I first knew him, he was already 25 years old, no longer a teenager. Despite the many Parenting books I read, I still feel inadequate as a Mother. Truthfully, Mummy also struggles at times how to create a win-win situation for us.
You are growing and changing each day. You are no longer the little boy who depends on me for everything. You are now capable of many things that even Mummy can't do - playing the piano, performing in a musical, singing and dancing and making yourself known to the Disney crew, Compere, leading Devotion in school, Class Monitor (Mummy was never a Class Monitor) and the list goes on.
You are making your own decisions and learning new things and experiences everyday. Some experiences lifted your spirit up; some experiences made you cry; sometimes you are very sure of yourself; sometimes you are lost; sometimes you love Mummy; sometimes you cannot stand Mummy...
Last night, Daddy made me realised how much you went through as a Class Monitor. Daddy made me realised I've not empathized with you as you are going through the growing pains. I've been sending out messages to you that results are more important than effort. Mummy sincerely apologised to you if I've given you so much pressure that you sometimes lied to me so that you made me proud. As we shared with you last night, Mum and Dad are proud of you when you put in the effort. There is no need to make up story for your parents. We are here for you, listen to you, pleasant or unpleasant experiences you have. Be true to yourself and be true to your parents, teachers and friends.
Thanks to your Dad for putting up a hard and clear mirror in front of me. Mummy realised that we can improve our communication. Mummy may not be as humourous as Mr. Peck but I'll work on it. Remember what you learned from Teacher Celine? For things to change, I must change first. Mummy will make that change and we'll see how things progress ok?
Love you always,
Mum & Dad
I could see how much you love Thursday morning as you were singing the devotion songs in the car and talking about Mr. Peck this morning. You even shared with me how he teased you yesterday about the colour of the school logo on your uniform in a light-hearted manner. He joked about the size of the brains and his signature cheeky powers in class. With him in the class, there is always laughter and energy!Few weeks ago, he even asked you why your behaviour changed for the better in P4. Not forgeting he came to support you on your 1st night of your Musical performance.
The bond between you and Mr. Peck is apparently very strong. You enjoy his company even though at times he teased you. Mummy has a lot to learn from Mr. Peck on effective communication with you.
As you are our first child, Mum and Dad are still figuring out how best to communicate with a new teenager at home. Frankly, we don't know, especially Mummy. Mummy grew up in a all-girls family and the only man at home, your Yeye, was hardly home as he worked hard everyday to bring home the bacon. Thus, I have no idea how a teenage boy think or behave. The closest man I know in my life is your Daddy but when I first knew him, he was already 25 years old, no longer a teenager. Despite the many Parenting books I read, I still feel inadequate as a Mother. Truthfully, Mummy also struggles at times how to create a win-win situation for us.
You are growing and changing each day. You are no longer the little boy who depends on me for everything. You are now capable of many things that even Mummy can't do - playing the piano, performing in a musical, singing and dancing and making yourself known to the Disney crew, Compere, leading Devotion in school, Class Monitor (Mummy was never a Class Monitor) and the list goes on.
You are making your own decisions and learning new things and experiences everyday. Some experiences lifted your spirit up; some experiences made you cry; sometimes you are very sure of yourself; sometimes you are lost; sometimes you love Mummy; sometimes you cannot stand Mummy...
Last night, Daddy made me realised how much you went through as a Class Monitor. Daddy made me realised I've not empathized with you as you are going through the growing pains. I've been sending out messages to you that results are more important than effort. Mummy sincerely apologised to you if I've given you so much pressure that you sometimes lied to me so that you made me proud. As we shared with you last night, Mum and Dad are proud of you when you put in the effort. There is no need to make up story for your parents. We are here for you, listen to you, pleasant or unpleasant experiences you have. Be true to yourself and be true to your parents, teachers and friends.
Thanks to your Dad for putting up a hard and clear mirror in front of me. Mummy realised that we can improve our communication. Mummy may not be as humourous as Mr. Peck but I'll work on it. Remember what you learned from Teacher Celine? For things to change, I must change first. Mummy will make that change and we'll see how things progress ok?
Love you always,
Mum & Dad
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Ashley's 1st Bilingual Story Telling Contest
Dearest Ashley,
Mummy wants to share a secret with you. Each time I see you on stage like this morning, two things happened immediately: My throat went dry till you walked down the stage and my eyes was focusing on the camera videoing you. Regardless of the outcome, Daddy and I felt you have done well. You were composed, calm and spoke fluently and confidently. We are very proud of you, son.
Besides listening to you, Mummy also listened attentively to 9 other contestants. I like the story of the wooden bowl and the Scar of Love. Coincidentally, I heard the wooden bowl story when I was in Primary School and the story was etched in my head and heart forever. The story talks about filial piety and how children learned values from their parents in their daily life. If the parents ill treat the grandparents, little eyes will see and will follow what the parents did to the grandparents. As parents, we must be good role models for our children to follow.
I'm touched by the Scar of Love story. In the story, the courageous Mother fought with all her might with the crocodile. Despite the crocodile's attempt to pull the boy towards him, the Mother never gave up and kept pulling her son towards her. Yes, God and parents will never give up on their children. No matter how big the setbacks and challenges are in front of you, God and parents will always be there for you, trusting you, supporting you and loving you.
Regardless of the results, you have won the 1st prize in our heart. Like your "Happy Fish" story, many things cannot be reasoned by logic but by feeling. Chuang Zi knew the fish were swimming happily in the water because he felt the happiness as he was standing on Bridge Hao. Likewise, Daddy and Mummy felt your winning spirit because we were listening and enjoying your story telling and more importantly, we could sense your effort and focus. If you did not put in the effort and focus, you would not be able to deliver the story completely and convincingly. When there's effort, there's fruit of labour.
We love you dearly, son. Btw, Mummy has made a splendid plan for this Friday to celebrate your success! Keep up the effort and focus, Ashley. We are confident you will reach your goal by end of this year.
Love you always,
Mummy and Daddy Dearest
Mummy wants to share a secret with you. Each time I see you on stage like this morning, two things happened immediately: My throat went dry till you walked down the stage and my eyes was focusing on the camera videoing you. Regardless of the outcome, Daddy and I felt you have done well. You were composed, calm and spoke fluently and confidently. We are very proud of you, son.
Besides listening to you, Mummy also listened attentively to 9 other contestants. I like the story of the wooden bowl and the Scar of Love. Coincidentally, I heard the wooden bowl story when I was in Primary School and the story was etched in my head and heart forever. The story talks about filial piety and how children learned values from their parents in their daily life. If the parents ill treat the grandparents, little eyes will see and will follow what the parents did to the grandparents. As parents, we must be good role models for our children to follow.
I'm touched by the Scar of Love story. In the story, the courageous Mother fought with all her might with the crocodile. Despite the crocodile's attempt to pull the boy towards him, the Mother never gave up and kept pulling her son towards her. Yes, God and parents will never give up on their children. No matter how big the setbacks and challenges are in front of you, God and parents will always be there for you, trusting you, supporting you and loving you.
Regardless of the results, you have won the 1st prize in our heart. Like your "Happy Fish" story, many things cannot be reasoned by logic but by feeling. Chuang Zi knew the fish were swimming happily in the water because he felt the happiness as he was standing on Bridge Hao. Likewise, Daddy and Mummy felt your winning spirit because we were listening and enjoying your story telling and more importantly, we could sense your effort and focus. If you did not put in the effort and focus, you would not be able to deliver the story completely and convincingly. When there's effort, there's fruit of labour.
We love you dearly, son. Btw, Mummy has made a splendid plan for this Friday to celebrate your success! Keep up the effort and focus, Ashley. We are confident you will reach your goal by end of this year.
Love you always,
Mummy and Daddy Dearest
Abby offered her kaya toast to the hawker centre elderly cleaning uncle
Dearest Abby,
This morning, Daddy carried you from your bed to the car at 6:30am as we headed for Kor Kor's school to support him in the Bilingual Story Telling Competition. After we dropped Kor Kor at school, we had breakfast at the hawker centre above the wet market. Mummy accidentally dropped a hotdog bun on the floor while you enjoyed your egg and kaya toast.
While we were chatting, an elderly cleaning uncle cleared our table and he picked up the hotdog bun Mummy dropped on the floor. We thought he was going to throw it in the rubbish bin but he didn't. He blew away the dirt and kept it in a tray to eat later. Mummy suggested you offered your last piece of kaya toast to him and you immediately got off your bench and handed the plate of kaya toast to the uncle with both hands. He thanked us and sat down to enjoy his kaya toast. As I was talking to you, you told me that the Uncle had threw away the hotdog bun in the bin. I can see you're happy that the uncle did not eat the dirty bun from your smile. Thanks for sharing your food with someone who needs the food more than us.
If you recalled, this is the second time we witnessed such incident. Once, Kor Kor accidentally dropped a piece of bread at Cafe Cartel and the next moment, an elderly uncle picked it up and ate it. I felt sad for them as they did not have money to buy food and had to resort to eating dirty food from the floor.
We are blessed with warm food and warm bed. There are many less fortunate human beings, even in Singapore, who are hungry and homeless. Now you know why Mummy always insists you and Kor Kor must finish everything on the plate, waste not a single grain. So, the next time if you see someone is eating from the floor or looking for food in the rubbish bin, offer them your food or even pocket money. To them, the food warm their stomach and heart. To you, you will also feel the warmth too.
Love you,
Mummy Dearest
This morning, Daddy carried you from your bed to the car at 6:30am as we headed for Kor Kor's school to support him in the Bilingual Story Telling Competition. After we dropped Kor Kor at school, we had breakfast at the hawker centre above the wet market. Mummy accidentally dropped a hotdog bun on the floor while you enjoyed your egg and kaya toast.
While we were chatting, an elderly cleaning uncle cleared our table and he picked up the hotdog bun Mummy dropped on the floor. We thought he was going to throw it in the rubbish bin but he didn't. He blew away the dirt and kept it in a tray to eat later. Mummy suggested you offered your last piece of kaya toast to him and you immediately got off your bench and handed the plate of kaya toast to the uncle with both hands. He thanked us and sat down to enjoy his kaya toast. As I was talking to you, you told me that the Uncle had threw away the hotdog bun in the bin. I can see you're happy that the uncle did not eat the dirty bun from your smile. Thanks for sharing your food with someone who needs the food more than us.
If you recalled, this is the second time we witnessed such incident. Once, Kor Kor accidentally dropped a piece of bread at Cafe Cartel and the next moment, an elderly uncle picked it up and ate it. I felt sad for them as they did not have money to buy food and had to resort to eating dirty food from the floor.
We are blessed with warm food and warm bed. There are many less fortunate human beings, even in Singapore, who are hungry and homeless. Now you know why Mummy always insists you and Kor Kor must finish everything on the plate, waste not a single grain. So, the next time if you see someone is eating from the floor or looking for food in the rubbish bin, offer them your food or even pocket money. To them, the food warm their stomach and heart. To you, you will also feel the warmth too.
Love you,
Mummy Dearest
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